A good friend of mine and I recently spent the weekend at a hotel on the beach, girls weekend away, that kind of thing..... Well, I was astounded at how things have changed between women and men in the last 10 years. Yes, I am getting old and yes I apparently am not up to date with what crawls out from under rocks on Friday nights in Florida, but I was never expecting what I saw....
Now the lovely establishment we stayed at was definitely not a four star hotel. It was clean and boasted the largest tiki bar in South Florida, that was all I needed to know. The staff was friendly and made us feel safe, which is very important.
As a recent Roux-en-Y patient with a loss of 80 pounds, I am still a little uncomfortable with my body. When you go from a size 26/24 to a 12 and the opposite sex starts to say things to you, it is embarrassing and a shock to your system, but some of what I heard was just plain rude.
I heard, "Your boobs are like pillows of joy." "I've had a vasectomy. You'll be safe with me, baby!" and the biggest shocker was the 22 year old who swam up to me in the pool, grabbed my foot and sucked my toe. Yes, I promptly got out of the pool.
I have read many posts from fellow post-ops about feeling awkward about getting attention once they begin to lose the weight and near their target. How can we feel comfortable with others affection when we aren't completely comfortable with giving ourselves affection? I feel that if I am attracted to people who talk to me as if I am a piece of meat, then I am only doing myself a disservice. In the world of online dating, texting, sexting, immediate gratification and outward bluntness, we have lost that finesse for personal connectivity.
I know it is wonderful new world where I feel attractive for the first time in a long time, but at the same time, I look in the mirror sometimes and still see a obese person. My point is that after going through all we have been through, perhaps it is best to sort out how we feel about ourselves before we let someone in our lives and have to figure out how we feel about them.......
Just food for thought...lol